Maybe this dairy entry will be the hardest one. Because I experienced things that are hard to describe!
After a long and delightful conversation with my Master, he was telling me something about what’s going to happen next. I immediately sensed and felt the seriousness on his face and gorgeous eyes. I was amazed at how a person who was just joking and laughing with me could grow so serious in an instant. The way he stood, looked and talked just changed. Something inside me told me to listen to him carefully and I conformed to that voice. I was listening to my Master without keeping my eyes off him and trying really hard not to look at those attractive and sweet lips. It was very hard but I managed to do it.
My Master gave me detailed information about what was going to happen and what I was going to feel.
He told me that during the bastinado session, he was going to make me lie on my stomach and tie my hands and ankles behind my back. I learned that this position was called “hogtie.” He also told me about the reason of my bastinado punishment. I was given my Master an opportunity to redeem for my previous mistakes and I thought that I didn’t want to miss this opportunity. When I was offered the chance to redeem for my mistakes that have been cumulating for weeks just with a bastinado punishment, I understood how compassionate my Master was. Because there was no way to underestimate those mistakes. My Master told me about safe word. In a case of emergency when I felt bad in terms of my health, he told me that I could use the safe word but ordered me to use it as a last resort. If I were to abuse this this trust that he granted me, I would be seriously betraying it. When he was talking to me about these, even though I was trying to oppress and hide the fear inside me, I felt that I wasn’t good at that. His famous sarcastic smile appeared on his face. He understood what I was thinking and feeling; as always, he was one step ahead of me.
My Master told me that he would be recording my bastinado punishment. He gave me instructions about ignoring the cameras around me and acting naturally. I wasn’t concerned about the cameras. I was rather concerned about whether I would be able to endure the pain. I was more concerned about this.
While my Master was preparing the recording equipment, he also ordered me to do the same. He told me that I could wear whatever I wanted. I told him that the black-red, transparent nightgown could stay. Frankly, I wasn’t in a position to think about what I was wearing at the time.
We went into the room where the shooting would take place. I was conjuring a mental picture of the memories of the previous experience that we had had together. He looked so innocent while sleeping!
On the doorstep, I was observing my Master. He was trying to place the cameras and the light at the most ideal position and paying attention to every detail in the room. I noticed his professional movies and careful eyes. I wondered how many girls went before these cameras and suffered with pain before me. Now it was my turn! Like a nervous child, on the doorstep, I rested my face on the edge of the door and tried to prepare myself mentally. I knew what would happen in practice but what was I going to feel? I was feeling the big question marks inside my head.
My Master took out the bondage ropes of different colors and I unintentionally started to smale. Of course, my Master didn’t miss this.
“What is it? You started to smile when you saw the ropes!”
One of the things I was most curious about was the feeling of being tied in a way to prevent me from moving. Now I was going to experience this thanks to my Master.
“Yes, I am ready. Everything is okay and your punishment began!”
As soon as I heard this sentence, I shivered down my spine; it was the time. After this sentence, I was forbidden to look at my Master’s eyes. The last time I did this, I remember being whipped on my ass, it hurt a lot!
Now, lie on your stomach in a way to put your head on the edge of the bed, put your arms back and get your soles up!”
I complied with all my Master’s orders silently.
In this position, my hair covered my face however I couldn’t do anything to sort my hair because I knew that it was forbidden. I remember feeling a hard whip lash on my ass the last time I did this. Whip really restrains you. I pushed my face against the sheet so that I wouldn’t laugh.
My Master took out the bondage ropes and tied my ankles in the air tightly. Then he took my hands back and ties my wrists to my ankles. My elbowroom was so small. However, though I don’t know why, I liked it. Just as I had surrendered my soul to my Master, it made me feel like I surrendered my body to my master too and this sensation turned me on. My maneuverability was limited but as soon as I was tied, I was trying to explore the points in which I could move so that I could find a relatively comfortable position.
The cameras started running!
After this point, I tried to control my breathing. I was struggling to come over my thrill and fear by taking deep breathes. My Master took of my heels so that my soles would be bare.
As far as I remember, the first thing I felt on my soles were the soft and aesthetical ends of the whip. He was playing with the whip on my soles as if he was caressing my soles and I was feeling very ticklish.
My Master asked me whether I knew what my bastinado punishment was for. I told him that I knew. Then he ordered me to say it out loud.
With a nervous voice, I could come up with the sentence, “The punishment for all my mistakes up to now, Master.”
It was the first “good, girl” that came from my Master and it made me feel relieved. I had to please my Master more because it made me happy. I made me feel like I was good for something!
Just when I was thinking about these, with a sudden whip lash on my soles, I felt that the whip was not actually soft. My right foot started to heat up and then one more lash landed on my soles! I was struggling to keep my feet together as much as possible. Each lash on my soles felt like hitting on the water with a stick. It was like the water stretching after each lash and erupting up from the sides of the stick. After each lash, I felt like my blood pressure was pressing on my soles. After a few tries, my Master ordered me to count each lash and thank him after them. I thought that ten was a good number. I could stand! I had to stand!
The lashes landed on my soles one after another and after each lash, my soles hurt more and I was convulsing with pain. I was struggling hard to not make a sound! Each lash was landing harder than the previous one and when the eighth lash came, I was trying to motivate myself saying “just two more.”
And when my Master landed the tenth whip very hardly, I had a chance to breathe and I knew that the better I was at holding my feet together, the more time my Master would give me for breathing. I tried to not forget it.
Sometimes I felt the beautiful hands of my Master on my burning soles. I felt like I could melt at those times. I was feeling that my body trembled every time he touched.
When I was trying to control my breathing, my Master gave me the next order. He told me to repeat the sentences he told me after changing them appropriately. I was almost happy when I heard it because it sounded really nice :)
He told the first sentence and I repeated it in an appropriate why as the whips were landing on me.
I don’t know which sentence it was but one of the sentences game me the hell. Because I couldn’t keep the sentence in my mind and get it together. I don’t know how many times I had to repeat it but every time I made a mistake, I got more whip lashes on my soles as punishment. I got angrier with myself for every mistake that I made, for how stupid I was and for how vulnerable I was against pain. I was so angry with myself that I was saying that I deserved the punishment for not being able to get it together.
My soles were swollen and red. I don’t remember which stage of the punishment it was but I experienced something that I had never felt. It is hard to describe. It was like my lower-self had already accepted the whip lashes even for a short while. This acceptance created such pleasures within me that I felt that I was turned on and wet. After each lash, I started to push my breasts against the bed a bit harder and after each convulsion, I tried to compress my pussy with the help of my legs. I couldn’t believe myself but I didn’t want to stop myself either. I went between the feelings of pain and pleasure.
The last punishment was 100 whip lashes on my soles. When my Master told me about it, the number 100 loomed so large in my eyes that it stood in front of me like an insurmountable obstacle. My Master told me that I was free to beg in this punishment. He told me that the better I begged, the better it would be for me. ME and begging? I never managed to do it. I was never able to beg my Master in an appropriate way. That’s why my Master named me “high society slave.”
The lashes were being landed one after another and I was counting with all the effort I could give. I was out of breath, my eyes were full of tears and I was feeling an intense pain due to the lashes on my soles. I was trying to keep my mind on the numbers… “19, 20, 21… 24, 25…” I wanted to shout out saying “Please, let it be over!” I was trying to be patient… trying to be strong. But the numbers were moving very slowly…
The lashes that I was used to were wrecking my soles. Then I don’t know what happened but then next lashes started to hurt ten times more. Now it wasn’t the whip I was used to! My Master had started to use a different kind of whip on my soles. Harder and more swiftly… I was having difficulty counting and breathing; I couldn’t stand the pain! This whip was wrecking not only my soles but also my insides; it was shattering my soul. It was such a shattering that with all my bareness and with all my pure and clean soul, I started to cry sobbingly and beg a man first time in my life!!! I was begging for a drop of mercy.
When I sat against my Master with my burning soles, I came across a peculiar expression on his face. Was it sorrow? Tiredness? I don’t know. I have never come across this expression before. When he was sipping drink in his glass, curiosity got better of me and asked him.
“What do you feel during the bastinado, Master?”
I saw that he took a deep breath. He rose his green eyes and indifferently said “Nothing,” and after he took one more breath, he added “Pleasure.” I was curious about what was hidden beneath this “Nothing” and I was sure that he was going to continue. He was lost in thoughts. Looking deeply into my eyes, he said, “Inflicting pain is exhausting me!” When he said “exhausted,” I wondered whether he meant landing the whip on my soles. I preferred to wait instead of asking and he continued shortly after.
“I should watch out for many things. I am under a big responsibility. I am careful about the degree and the intensity of the pain I inflict upon you. I give so much effort beside taking pleasure and it’s exhausting me,” he said.
Even though my Master made me suffer, hearing all these took away all the pain from inside me. I felt compassion instead of the pain he inflicted. I also got the answer to many questions that had been lingering inside my head.
As we were talking about these, it started to rain again. We were listening out to the sound of the rain and enjoying it. I felt the cold wind coming from outside on the bare soles of my feet. I was thinking about what I had just experienced in the room. The pain I suffered, the lashes I felt, the sound of the whip. Each lash of whip wrecking my soul. Crying sobbingly and begging my Master for the first time! Actually, what happened in that room was much more than this. I don’t know what but something inside me told me that something had changed. Maybe I grew up, maybe I felt more attached to the man sitting across me, maybe something I had always dreamed of and wanted to experience came true. Maybe I found myself! Yes… I found myself… I found Aseyra!!! It seems that I had only carried this name up to that day and I was sure that I would now start to carry the soul of Aseyra.
The sound of the rain stopped! I wanted to throw myself out. I took my Master’s permission and opened the door to get out. I breathed the damp and earth scented wind. I took my first step outside. I toddled because of my swollen soles and I thought of the first steps of a baby. As the cold and wet grass touch my burning soles, it relieved me. It was like all the evil inside me was being cleansed.
My steps became more steady and I tried to walk straightly. I couldn’t hold my tears after these strange feelings. I started to cry silently. This time, it was not tears of pain but of joy that came down my cheeks. I did it! I grew up!
Thanks to my Master, Aseyra Aysu Asel was born. Right now! I had felt it…
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